Hello, my lovelies. I’m really sorry that I haven’t written a real entry here in a week or so. I have a couple of things stewing in my brain for this blog, so hopefully they’ll happen soon. I just wanted to let you all know that I am not dead.
I’ve been having a hard time for the last few days, but I’m working really hard to get out of my rut. I’ve had some big realizations about relationships in my life and some about myself. It’s been painful, but it’s been good for me and will be better for me in the future.
Part of the reason I’ve been so “off” is because I haven’t been writing much at all this last week or so, and when I don’t write I get all sorts of emotional and stuff. I’ve just been really, really tired both, physically and mentally, so it’s made it hard to write anything at all. I’m still tired, but I’m ready to force myself to get back in the swing of things because I know that it is the best thing for me.
Life is better when you do the things you’re passionate about, especially when you suffer with mental illness, so I’m making a real effort to stay on task with both my drawing/painting and my writing. Those are the things that light a fire inside of me – that make me feel useful and important and drown out the voices that say otherwise.
Writing and art light me up, and life is too damn short to not be lit up, that’s for sure.
In other news, I thought I’d share some crappy Instagram photos with you. Sorry if you follow me and have already seen them. I’ve been nice and condensed them all into one photo as to not take up too much space on your dashboard. I’ll explain them going from left to right.
Unfortunately, this week my family had to put our beautiful cat, Hera, down. She was fifteen and just not doing so well. She’d been sick for a while, and it just became blatantly apparent that the amount of suffering she was going through wasn’t in her best interest. I’m heartbroken to have lost her, but at least she isn’t in pain anymore.
I got her when I was in the 8th grade. My aunt found her as a kitten at a local pet store, and she was just too beautiful to pass up. My best friend growing up had wanted a cat for a long time, so my aunt took her to my friend. She was so happy to have her at first, but her mom wasn’t too keen on her having a pet, so we ended up taking her back. She was with us for the rest of her life. She was a beautiful, super soft calico and she had the best personality.
She was pretty much my cat, but being HIV+ it’s a huge no-no when it comes to catboxes, so when I moved out I wasn’t able to take her with me. She was so sad for a long time after I left, and every time I went home to see her she was excited and so sweet. I wish so much that I could have kept her, but I didn’t think it was fair to put the responsibility of cleaning up after her on my partner. She had a long and happy life with my family though, so I guess it turned out to be okay.
I will always miss her. She was the best cat ever. 😦
Next, I had been wanting a little cactus or some other succulent for my desk since I got it a few months ago, but had never gotten one. On Friday, I posted a silly little status update on Facebook about my want of one, so my brother and his beautiful girlfriend came home with these two beauties! It was so sweet of them and really just warmed my heart. I needed it more than they know, and it just reminded me of how lucky I am to have such great people in my life.
I’ve decided to name them Lucy and Ethel, and I cannot wait to get them repotted! They are just the cutest things ever. Cody picked out one and Lily the other. Can you guess who picked which? 😉
The round one is commonly called a rainbow pincushion and it flowers for a large part of the year! I hope it will because it’ll have pink and purple blooms! How cute would that be?! The other one is a grafted cactus, meaning it’s two kinds that are put together to grow into a single plant. It’s commonly called a moon cactus, and it’s just adorable! They’re easy to take care of and will live for pretty much ever if well taken care of, so yay! They make me happy every time I look at them.
Oh, and if you’re wondering, I like cacti because they are like the hedgehogs of the plant world. 😉
And finally, I tried to ombre my hair a couple of weeks ago. It didn’t come out exactly how I’d hoped, so I might try again in a bit. Having dreadlocks for five years made me exceedingly patient with hair, so I’m not in a rush about it. What I really wanted to show you though was how wavy my hair is!
I cut it a few weeks ago, but I had always blow dried it straight. Then one day I just decided to let it do its natural thing, and I am so freaking happy with it. I wish I would have just let it be all through junior high and high school because I fried the shit out of it every day and was just so miserable with it all through school. I even went through a phase where I shaved it all off because I was just so unhappy with my hair. Turns out, if I just let it be the way it is it’s fantastic! Who’d have thunk?
Now that I’ve gotten the vanity out of the way, I hope you all have a nice week and a happy Easter Sunday if you celebrate. Thanks for sticking with me even when I don’t update as much as I should. You guys are the best, and I love you all.
Oh! Instead of being productive (tisk tisk), I’ve been playing a ton of Luigi’s Mansion: Dark Moon on my 3DS. If you have a 3DS we should be friends! My code is 3823-8769-3074. Shoot me an ask with your code. We can send all kinds of cute SwapNotes and play together! It’ll be fun! ^_^